Dear College:

I realize that my goal of getting a full ride scholarship to Columbia after I am finished with you seems lofty and unlikely, given my cumulative GPA of 2.1 in high school. I get that, okay. But you are not exactly helping me. Everyone says that extracurriculars are important in these kinds of processes. So...when you decided that the only clubs/organizations you would offer would be chess club and billiards club, were you high? I mean there is not even a student newspaper that I can find anywhere. And I do not think that Columbia is going to look t my application and see that I was president of the POOL CLUB and think, Oh, man! Let's definitely offer a scholarship with a value of like a million dollars a year at the most amazing university in the world to this person who can play awesome bar games really well.

At this point, College, I would settle for, like, an embroidery club. At least that is something I would not have to go out of my way to learn and then ultimately fail at.

Megan