Can You Hire Paparazzi?

I think my favorite part of being a celebrity would be all the pictures
on the internet of me staring blankly at the display of packaged salads
and dressings at the grocery store. And, pictures of me spending like 12
minutes digging through my seemingly empty oversized bags trying to find
a set of keys, and when I pull them out and stick them in the lock they
aren't my car keys and they get stuck and I spend another half hour
using every muscle I possess to wrench them out of the lock.
Now do you understand why I might need a bodyguard??

--mk